Here's a selection of some of the viruses on that list;
QUOTE
- RIGHT TO LIFE VIRUS: Won't allow you to delete a file, regardless of how old it is. If you attempt to erase a file, it requires you to first see a counselor about possible aternatives.
- AT&T VIRUS: Every three minutes it tells you what great service you are getting.
- THE MCI VIRUS: Every three minutes it reminds you that you are overpaying for the AT&T virus.
- TED TURNER VIRUS: Colorizes your monochrome monitor.
- ARNOLD SWARZENEGGER VIRUS: Terminates and stays resident. It'll be back.
- GOVERNMENT ECONOMIST VIRUS: Nothing works, but all your diagnostic software says everything is fine.
- FEDERAL BUREAUCRAT VIRUS: Divides your hard disk into hundreds of little units, each of which does practically nothing, but all of which claim to be the most important part of the computer.
- GALLUP VIRUS: Sixty percent of the PCs infected will lose 38 percent of their data 14 percent of the time (plus or minus a 3.5 percent margin of error).
- RANDALL TERRY VIRUS: Print "Oh no you don't" whenever you choose "Abort" from the "Abort, Retry, Fail" message.
- TEXAS VIRUS: Makes sure it's bigger than any other file.
- CONGRESSIONAL VIRUS: The computer locks up, screen splits erratically with a message appearing on each half blaming the other side for the problem.
- AIRLINE VIRUS: You're in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore.
- FREUDIAN VIRUS: Your computer becomes obsessed with marrying its own motherboard.
- PBS VIRUS: Your PC stops every few minutes to ask for money.
- ELVIS VIRUS: Your computer gets fat, slow, and lazy and then self destructs, only to resurface at shopping malls and service stations across rural America.
- OLLIE NORTH VIRUS: Turns your printer into a document shredder.
- STAR TREK VIRUS: Invades your system in places where no virus has gone before.
- HEALTH CARE VIRUS: Tests your system for a day, finds nothing wrong, and send you a bill for $4,500.
- GEORGE BUSH VIRUS: It starts by boldly stating, "Read my test...no new files!" on the screen, proceeds to fill up all the free space on your hard drive with new files, then blames it on the Congressional Virus.
- GEORGE W. BUSH VIRUS: It starts by claiming that there's a new Iraqi virus that'll erase it unless we take immediate military action. When that virus cannot be found, it jokes about how it can't find the virus, then claims the Iranians have a new virus ready followed by the Russians.
- LARRY CRAIG VIRUS: Causes your computer to emit an endless stream of tapping noises from the computer speakers, and causes the peripherals to stretch as far as they possibly can.
- BILL O'REILLY VIRUS: Says extremely conservative and outrageous things, then starts flashing provocative pictures on your monitor every few seconds while yelling that it's disgusting and outrageous, then commanding the viewer to look again while it loops back.
- RUSH LIMBAUGH VIRUS: Your computer gets high while printing out messages about how all drug users should be thrown in jail.
